Want to know why Wolverine from X-Men is only able to grow 90% of a beard? Are you itching to find out if he sometimes stabs himself in the eye when he picks his nose? Perhaps you’re wondering why he didn’t go into the professional potato peeling business? Well, you’ll be none the wiser to any of those questions if you watch X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

We do however find out where he gets the rest of his trademark look, learn a tiny bit about his love life and his family and even get a montage of his war history, but I can absolutely positively confirm that no explanation of his uneven facial hair growth is offered at any point in the film. 

The general gist of Wolverine’s past is that after kickin’ ass with his brother (Sabretooth) in various wars over the last century, Wolverine finally gets bored of having to stop his sibling from raping and pillaging, so he decides to leave him to do what he wants and walks off without so much as a wave goodbye. Feeling totally ‘abandoned’, his brother decides to kill Logan’s girlfriend. Now some might think that’s a tiny overreaction and wondered what would’ve happened had Wolverine done something much more serious to Sabretooth instead. I’d wager that there’d be some sort of nuclear revenge attack had Wolverine given him a wedgie or hidden his teddy bear. But anyway, that’s the basis of the film and Wolverine is quite happy to get upgraded with an Adamantium injection to allow him to duff up his brother and avenge his girlfriend’s death. Of course, this feeble plot might be part of a bigger, equally feeble plot… 

Don’t get me wrong, it was entertaining enough for a couple of hours and there’s a handful of decent bits, but I’ll have to say that unlike some of my fellow cinema-goers, I wasn’t really ‘feeling it’ (admittedly I’ve not really thought any of the X-Men films have been that good). Relationships between the main characters were a bit thin and unconvincing, as development mostly takes a backseat to the really obvious CGI action. Hey ho. It was better than X-Men 3, but I guess for some inexplicable reason I was just expecting to see something, I dunno, much better this time around.


Oh, and as Columbo would say, “just one more thing”…  

Now I realise this is a bit picky, but I’m surely not the only who was wondering this at the time? So Wolverine is escaping after being experimented on. To get away, he slashes a metal door/wall with his shiny new metal claws. First one way, then the other, to form an “X” shape.

Exhibit A:

Gravity defying metal. Bit of a goof, no?

Gravity defying metal. Bit of a goof, no?

So what exactly is now holding the four diamond shaped pieces of metal in place on that door?
Whoops. The perils of relying too heavily on CGI, eh.

Comments on: "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" (2)

  1. Hmmm nice spot there, I didn’t notice that bit. Though at that point I was still enjoying the film. Had this happened a bit futher into the movie then I might have noticed it.

    However I can answer your beard question, being an expert on the subject seeing I have one myself. The simple answer to why Wolverine only has 90% of a beard is…he doesn’t have a beard at all, he has mutton chops. The reason for this is twofold. One, he was born at a time when they were popular and never really changed his look and two, are you going to tell an indestructable guy with knifes coming out of his hands that he looks stupid? I don’t think so.

    I have to say I was less than impressed with it as well. Why Mum asked me how the movie was the best I could come up with was “It was alright.” It took a real effort for her to drag out more details.

  2. This is my favourite scene from the film….


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