The Stupid Headmaster
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight! Bear in mind that I work for a spray paint company…
Me: “Hello, can I help?”
Caller: “Hi, I’m the headmaster of xxxxxxxxxx school. Can you let me know if your products are child safe?”
Me: “Well yes, there’s no lead in them, but I still wouldn’t advise eating them or anything, not that anyone would! *chuckle*”
Caller: “Well, one of my students has punctured one of your cans and it’s gone everywhere.”
Me: “Oh, I see, so they’ve accidently swallowed some?”
Caller: “Ummm, yes.”
Me: “Ok, probably best get them to a hospital to get some proper advice then.”
Caller: “He’s swallowed the mixer ball too.”
Me: “What?!”
Caller: “He’s swallowed the ball bearing type thing in the can too.”
Me: “*stunned pause* Errr, well, yes, you really do need some advice from the hospital then!!!”
Caller: “Do you have any medical advice? What I should do?”
Me: “Errrm go to a hospital!!”
Caller: “What effect will the paint have?”
Me: “The paint? I’m more worried about the mixer ball!”
Caller: “Oh.”
Me: “I’m no doctor, but I think you really should speak to one.”
Caller: “Oh. I just rang the number on the can. I thought you’d know what I should do.”
Me: “I can email you a chemical data sheet if it helps. The hospital might need it.”
Caller: “Oh. Ok, my email is xxxxxxx@xxxxxx.gov.uk”
Me: “Ok, I’ll get that straight over to you.”
Caller: “Thanks. Bye…”
It bounced. He couldn’t even give me the right email address.
