The Expendables

I think it’d be fair to say there are some weird looking blokes in The Expendables – Sly Stallone, Arnie, Dolph Longjohns and Mickey Rourke, for example.

The Expendables

Peekaboo!

It’s a good job then that The Expendables isn’t a beauty contest – it’s about blowing s**t up!

And it’s hard to argue that it doesn’t do that, as there’s little left after the credits that hasn’t exploded, been set on fire, been knifed, shot at or been somehow reduced to rubble. The short version of the plot is that The Expendables are an elite crew of mercenaries, who get a job to overthrow a dictator on some fictional island. Meh. The rest of the plot is actually a bit boring (a woman who needs to be ‘rescued’, an evil dictator, an even evil-er dictator-dictator etc). It basically involves lots of fight scenes and gun battles.

Arnie is in the film for about 30 seconds and Bruce Willis for about 45 seconds, so don’t let the trailer with lots of big names fool you. It’s mostly just Jason Statham and Sly punching people repeatedly in the face or kicking them in the knacker sacks for 90 minutes.

Ok, so The Expendables is an all-out action film, so you kinda have to judge it for what it is, but it’s also brainless and extremely forgettable stuff. You’d be better off watching The Losers instead, which (whilst not the best film ever) was far more entertaining.

5/10.

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