My colleague Mr Butz has asked me to contact you. I will keep this brief. Thank you for the warning of our incoming shipment. I have placed an exclusion zone around our facility of 1,000 square miles due to the highly toxic nature of the cargo. Judging by the amount of staining, we anticipate the half-life to be around 50 years, during which time your pants will be stored in our under-ground facility and then returned to you, sometime in 2059.

Thank you for choosing Magnox re-cycling facilities.

Prof. Willie Stroker.
Head of Uranium enrichment.
Magnox centre, Sellafield.

Thank you for re-processing the items dispatched to you previously.

I have another shipment on its way to you. I have doubled the thickness of the protective concrete packaging as requested. I trust this is sufficient.

Yours sincerely,

Mr D

We have finished with your socks and you can collect them whenever is convenient.

Yours sincerely,

Dr. Seymour Butz,
Sellafield Nuclear re-processing centre,
Cumbria.

No kids in the future then? Y’know, since there’s no actual boinking going on and all.