I gave blood today (10th time, got a badge!). Despite a very long wait, I was eventually ‘serviced’ by a very, very cute blood donor girl called Pippa.

I played it cool and my crap jokes seemed to be hitting the spot quite nicely. I was starting to think I was in with a chance… until that is, it came to the moment when it was time to leave my newly found bride to be.

As I got off the bed, she reached under it and handed me my coat. At this point, the latest issue of Zoo slid out of my coat pocket and plopped on the floor, opening nicely on the centre pages. This week, Czech glamour model Zdenka Novotna is cheekily covering both pages with her norks out.

My eyes popped out of my head as she reached down, picked it up and handed it back to me. “You best keep this folded up, Sir”.

Taxi!