I think it’s fair to say that most people who know me, realise that I’m not a morning person. I’m not usually properly awake until around 11am and that’s after I’ve had at least three cups of tea to help me jump start my brain.
This morning, I woke up bleary-eyed after a very short, frankly rubbish nights sleep, with a headache and generally feeling like I had a cold coming on. So you can probably imagine that I was feeling even less ‘with it’ than normal.
I got into the office about 8:30am. The first thing I had to do was get my timesheet faxed off to claim for my previous weeks work. I ambled over to the fax machine and waited a few minutes for the stuff that was already on it to go through.
Whilst I was dozily watching dozens of bits of paper feed through, I started to get a *major* runny nose. With my head still pounding, I hurriedly checked my pockets only to find that I didn’t have any tissue on me. Things were starting to get messy, so in order to prevent any embarrassment, I rather ashamedly used my hand to remedy the rapidily increasing goo situation. Phew, problem temporarily solved.
It was very shortly after this that the hottest girl in the office walks up with her timesheet also ready to be faxed. I smiled and she smiled back. She looked down and saw me clutching an identical timesheet to hers and she said excitedly “Ooh, you’re with the same agency as me!”.
I’m sure you’ll agree that the signs were quite clear, she obviously wanted me – badly.
“I’m Ashleigh!” she beamed and extended her hand to me in a really friendly way. With me not being completely with it and still in slight shock that this fox had willingly introduced herself to me, I shook her hand and started to greet her.
Of course as my snot filled hand met hers, I instantly realised my school boy error. A look of horror spread across my face as I watched a slow motion look of disgust spread across hers. Now I have no idea exactly what she thought the slightly lumpy, warm sticky substance was smeared on her palm, but whatever she thought – it couldn’t have been good.
Frankly, I didn’t quite know what to say to best remedy this situation. Before I had struggled to think of even a single word of apology, she had turned and quickly walked away, very nearly breaking into a run!
Now I’m no expert with women, but I’m pretty sure this is a fairly negative reaction. I guess even Valentino had to start somewhere though, right? Taxiiiiiiiii!
Dude, that’s worse than anything I’ve ever done…and I’ve done some real stinkers in my time. I am trying really hard to think of something to suggest that will get you back in her good books but I am coming up blank right now. I suppose you could try a misinformation campaign. Tell the people in your office that when you went to use the fax machine there was something sticky and horrible on the side of it. They will then tell other people and eventually it will get back to the honey…er though how that helps exactly I am not sure. You could always try passing the buck to her. If you see her again say hello and offer to shake her hand and make a joke about hopeing she doesn’t have sweaty palms this time. She’ll get all indignant and say it wasn’t her at which point you act all surprised that it could be you and that you can’t think what it could have been…but that you just came from the kitchen so maybe your hands were still wet from washing up. Apologise but laugh it off, joke about only having been there a while and now you will end up with a reputation for having sweaty palms. Ask if you can start again, show her your hands to prove they are find, laughing as you do, and then offer to shake hands once more. Hopefully she will see the joke and not think you were a dirty perv cranking one out in the fax room!!!