Hitman
If you were a hitman/woman, would you wear a conspicuous bright red tie when you were trying to blend into a crowd? Would you walk around town sporting a really obvious tattoo on your shiny baldy heeed?
Nope, me either, but apparently that’s the key to being a great assassin. Just shave your noggin and paint a bullseye on it, then dress like you’ve accidently collected Tony Blair’s dry cleaning. Only then are you ready to open your can of deadly whoop-ass.
Throw in some generic bad guy fodder, add a forgettable shaky “plot” and some dodgy Russian accents and you’ve pretty much got the gist of Hitman.
Anyway, you can probably already guess that Hitman isn’t good. Let’s face it - any movie based on a video game never has a very great start in life does it? True, we’re not talking Street Fighter quality here, but Mr 47 is no Bourne either.
5.5/10.
