I had a flick through my email spam folder the other day. I had messages from:

“Hung Hutchins” – who was trying to sell me a new credit card, and…
“Preston Long” – wanted to increase my penis size.
“Kimberly Huggins” – thought she could increase my sperm count…
“Perseus Stagner” – was trying to flog me a variety of boner pills.
“Sexy Lady” – wanted me to boink her (but strangely only after I’d opened an .exe file…)

Ok, I’m getting a bit of a theme there. So ex-porn stars become spammers once their career is over then? Riiight.

Anyway, I’ve got things to do. I’m just about to sign up for a new credit card. Then I’m going to by a pile of Viagra with it and a possibly a ‘herbal length remedy’ or two. It’s no wonder ‘Sexy Lady’ is interested. She might be a skanky virus ridden ho’, but frankly, who could resist me with all my new purchases? She’s only human.

Thank god for those ex-porn star spammers. They’re showing me the way to a better life. Hurrah for spam.