Death Race
Did someone say that volunteers are required for strip search duty?
Take a reject script from 2 Fast 2 Furious, the style of Mad Max and the setting of Bad Girls.
What do you get?
It helps if you say it out loud in the most gravelly voice you can manage. No, seriously, it does.
The year is 2012. The American economy has collapsed. People are earning 300 dollars for 120 hours work. Yet they’re quite happy to pay $250 for 30 minutes of pay per view telly. After all, who doesn’t love a good tv car chase? It appear that Sheriff John Bunnell (retired) has a lot to answer for in the not too distant future.
Death Race follows the story of Jensen Ames, a well ‘ard ex-racing driver just trying to scrape a living. When his wife gets bumped off, he finds himself framed for her murder and whisked off to do eight-to-ten in the state pen. Don’t worry, I’ve not spoiled the plot there. When our hero adoringly looks at a picture of his wife and child in the first few minutes of the film, it’s obvious that she’s a goner.
Jensen’s only hope is to find his wife’s killers and win his freedom, by taking part in a race. A race to the, errr, death. Oh, and any hot prison totty that Jense picks up from the ultra convenient hot prison totty bus is just a bonus. Wife? What wife?
Anyway, there we have it. If you’ve seen 2 Fast 2 Furious, you should know what to expect here. Heck, it’s even got the bloke from 2 Fast 2 Furious in it, playing a not entirely dissimilar role. You also know the level the film makers were aiming at when they warn at the end of the film not to attempt to recreate any of the scenes from the film. Spoilsports.
That said, if you leave your brain at the door, it’s reasonably entertaining. Especially when you’re treated to lines such as “Turn on the Death Heads” and “We’ll see who shits on the sidewalk”.
If you don’t mind a few spoilers, the condensed version of the Death Race script makes for quite funny reading too.
4/10.
Oh, in other news, you’ll never guess what happened on my way home after the film last night…
Now that’s what I call a review Chris…once again you’ve out done yourself!! I agree with you that the film was pretty crap, but hey it was entertaining!! Especially watching Natalie Martinez…..actually whilst writing this, I’ve just flicked onto ITV4 & the Original film ‘Death Race’ is on…believe me it’s not much better!!
As for the flash, superb…I take it thats me & Andrew in that car behind you? For a second I wondered why Abraham Lincoln was following you??
Thank you, thank you!
Well, I was going to use a picture of Rolf Harris, but I couldn’t find one of him that’d fit nicely. Abe was just the next bearded person that popped into my mind! Sorry Andrew! :-)
Made me laff. I nearly came with you guys but at 7:30 when I was about to leave… I just couldn’t be arsed… Now I am so gutted that I missed it…
NOT
Watching that I was also wondering why Abe was following you. The Paul popped up and I realised that it was meant to be me. My car kicks arse though, man I wish I really had guns and rockets on it in real life, though seeing how many stupid drivers I have to deal with on an average day I would probably be out of ammo before I got out of Fordham.
Great review as always. Oh and is there any reason that the wheels on your car look a bit like rotating boobies?
Mmmm, rotating boobies. I think that may well be some weird deep seated fantasy revealing itself through the powers of Flash there.
Or it could just be that making the middle of the wheels off centre was a quicker way of showing movement than drawing wheels with spokes. Personally, I’m going with the boobs thing.
Is that how your wheel fell off in wicken that time?