"Are you sure this is Sparta..?"
I went to see a pre-release screening of RocknRolla yesterday (cheers Paul & Tris). It was obviously such a special screening that it warranted having a pair of bouncers on the door asking for ID’s, who then also proceeded to stand near the front throughout the film checking the audience over with a night vision camera. Is there a big market for pirate Guy Ritchie films then?
Anyway, RocknRolla…
The full plot is pretty bloomin’ convoluted, so I’ll try not to spoil it. The short version would simply be that it’s a rehash of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, except this time everyone is chasing a painting instead of a pair of shotguns. On top of that, there’s dodgy property deals aplenty and about nine thousand interlinked characters involved along the way.
There’s a few funny bits, like the well ‘ard Russian heavies and the Handsome Bob subplot, but I wasn’t troubled with moist pants. There’s just enough humour to break up the violence really!
I’m sure you get the general gist. If you don’t, just watch the trailer and you will then - it does exactly what it says on the tin. You know, I reckon RocknRolla will do reasonably well (at least in the UK), even though it doesn’t really contain anything particularly new. I can’t see it setting the rest of the world on fire - but at least it’s quite entertaining and worth a watch.
Oh, and it should’ve also been released about 6 months ago, because the ‘booming property market’ that they talk about in the film is long since gone. Whoops. Bad times! On the plus side though - Madonna isn’t in it. Good times!
7/10. (including a bonus point for being a film that you could watch more than once, even if it is only to work out what the bluddy hell happened the first time around).
If you go see it, let me know what you think.
If you’d told me six months ago that one day I’d have to buy a ticket and sit in the cinema for two hours watching Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, then I’d probably have developed a sudden worried look of impending torture and then made a gesture something like this…
(more…)
What else would you expect to happen to a truck conveniently carrying fireworks?
There was something bugging me whilst watching The Mummy 3. Just who was it that Jet Li’s character - Emperor Han, reminded me of?
Then on the drive home, it hit me - General Lee from Takeshi’s Castle!
Anyway, as for the film itself, what a load of old tut. Fortunately though, I didn’t have high hopes to begin with. Even the girl who sold me the ticket cheerfully told me that “it was crap” as she handed me my change, so I can’t really complain too much here. Otherwise, I could’ve perhaps mentioned Brendan Fraser and Maria Bello’s awful acting, the piss-weak script or John Hannah’s entire pointlessness of being in this film.
But I won’t. Why? Because The Mummy 3 did have one redeeming quality… it made me appreciate Indiana Jones 4 a whole lot more, which is no mean feat.
“Film snob”? Moi? Pffft. Never.
5/10.
Gotham cars must be chained to the floor at all times.
As I type, The Dark Knight is sat in the number one position on the IMDb top 250 films of all time list. So is it really that good?
Well, yes it’s pretty damn good indeed, but #1? Errr, nah - top 50 I reckon. It starts to drag a smidge in places and just when you think it’s over, it goes on for another hour. But whatever, it’s still mighty good.
Especially exploding ones.
Watching Heath Ledger on screen again is a bit weird though, as you can’t help but think to yourself “he’s dead” whenever The Joker appears on screen. Its the same feeling you tend to get when watching Dad’s Army. Fortunately, that fades as the film goes on (and on), and the fact that The Joker is total fruit loop begins to take your mind off the whole “deadness” thing.
So what’s the betting that Mr Ledger is going to get a posthumous Oscar? Pretty good I reckon, but would he get an Oscar (or even a nomination) for his role as The Joker if he was still alive?
9/10.
On a related note, am I the only person in the world who just can’t take Gary Oldman seriously as an actor? No matter how he says a line, my brain just imagines him talking like this and saying things like:”Why do you have a picture of Paulette in your pack?”
"I used to be in Blue Peter don't you know..."
Perhaps watching WALL-E only a few days prior to Kung Fu Panda was a bad move.
Whilst WALL-E was imaginative, well thought out and beautiful to watch, Kung Fu Panda seemed almost average in comparison. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still pretty enjoyable, but don’t expect anything more than a good looking animated flick with a fairly predictable ‘you can do anything if you put your mind to it’ type storyline.
It’s not pant moistenly funny either, although the chav sitting a few seats away from us who seemed to be having occasional seizures would probably disagree with me. On the upside, there is some kung fu in it. Actually, there’s A LOT of kung fu in it.
Oh, and a panda. Skadoosh! 6.5/10.
