I love chocolate Hobnobs. The biscuits I mean. Yom yom. So when I saw some McVitie’s Hobnobs Flapjacks in Tesco the other day, I was irresistably drawn to them like a moth to a flame.
Exhibit A: McVitie's Hobnobs Flapjacks
Exhibit B: Yep, definitely 5
All that delicious hobnobbiness expertly combined into a flapjack. What right minded hobnobber wouldn’t be tempted by that?
Just look at the size of that packet. Huge isn’t it? And that does say "5" flapjacks doesn’t it?
Five? Bloomin’ heck - each of those bad boys must be BIG and tasty then.
Right? Right? Well that’s exhibits A & B.
Now let’s open this packet up and look at some more evidence…
(more…)
"Are you sure this is Sparta..?"
I went to see a pre-release screening of RocknRolla yesterday (cheers Paul & Tris). It was obviously such a special screening that it warranted having a pair of bouncers on the door asking for ID’s, who then also proceeded to stand near the front throughout the film checking the audience over with a night vision camera. Is there a big market for pirate Guy Ritchie films then?
Anyway, RocknRolla…
The full plot is pretty bloomin’ convoluted, so I’ll try not to spoil it. The short version would simply be that it’s a rehash of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, except this time everyone is chasing a painting instead of a pair of shotguns. On top of that, there’s dodgy property deals aplenty and about nine thousand interlinked characters involved along the way.
There’s a few funny bits, like the well ‘ard Russian heavies and the Handsome Bob subplot, but I wasn’t troubled with moist pants. There’s just enough humour to break up the violence really!
I’m sure you get the general gist. If you don’t, just watch the trailer and you will then - it does exactly what it says on the tin. You know, I reckon RocknRolla will do reasonably well (at least in the UK), even though it doesn’t really contain anything particularly new. I can’t see it setting the rest of the world on fire - but at least it’s quite entertaining and worth a watch.
Oh, and it should’ve also been released about 6 months ago, because the ‘booming property market’ that they talk about in the film is long since gone. Whoops. Bad times! On the plus side though - Madonna isn’t in it. Good times!
7/10. (including a bonus point for being a film that you could watch more than once, even if it is only to work out what the bluddy hell happened the first time around).
If you go see it, let me know what you think.
If you’d told me six months ago that one day I’d have to buy a ticket and sit in the cinema for two hours watching Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, then I’d probably have developed a sudden worried look of impending torture and then made a gesture something like this…
(more…)
What else would you expect to happen to a truck conveniently carrying fireworks?
There was something bugging me whilst watching The Mummy 3. Just who was it that Jet Li’s character - Emperor Han, reminded me of?
Then on the drive home, it hit me - General Lee from Takeshi’s Castle!
Anyway, as for the film itself, what a load of old tut. Fortunately though, I didn’t have high hopes to begin with. Even the girl who sold me the ticket cheerfully told me that “it was crap” as she handed me my change, so I can’t really complain too much here. Otherwise, I could’ve perhaps mentioned Brendan Fraser and Maria Bello’s awful acting, the piss-weak script or John Hannah’s entire pointlessness of being in this film.
But I won’t. Why? Because The Mummy 3 did have one redeeming quality… it made me appreciate Indiana Jones 4 a whole lot more, which is no mean feat.
“Film snob”? Moi? Pffft. Never.
5/10.
When you look up at the night sky, what do you see?
Just a distant bunch of tiny twinkling lights or a mind bogglingly enormous, sprawling universe that’s possibly teeming with life?
Perhaps we’ll soon know…?
