Percy gets a bit of splash back.

I was just asking for trouble by going to see a ridiculously titled film called Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief.

First of all, the title just screams “Harry Potter rip-off”. Then there’s the “Lightning Thief” part, which let’s face it here – sounds a bit crap. But worst of all the main character is obviously called “Percy”, which just sounds comical, conjuring images of famous Percy’s gone before: Percy Sugden, Percy the Small Engine (of Thomas the Tank Engine fame) and a nickname you might give to your knob – “I’ve gotta go point Percy at the porcelain…”.

But anyway. The basic plot is that Percy discovers that he’s a demigod, son of Poseidon. There’s a bunch of Greek gods and when Zeus’ lightning bolt gets stolen, the Gods become angry and Percy is prime suspect for pinching the positive protons of power.

After watching Percy Jackson, it’s quite clear that it IS indeed a Harry Potter rip-off. Harry, Ron and Hermione and swapped out for Percy, Grover and Annabeth. Broomsticks are substituted for flying shoes, magic becomes special Godly powers, Hogwarts is “Camp Half Blood” etc. Heck, even the director is the same as the first two Harry Potter films.

On the plus side, some of the effects are quite good, but that’s where any good points about this film end.

The main problem with Percy Jackson is that the characters are all so two dimensional. For instance, Percy sees his mother ‘die’ early on in the film. He looked like he couldn’t have cared less. The dialogue is poor. Steve Coogan is badly cast as Hades. And all the while you can’t help but make comparisons in your head to Harry Potter “Oooh, there’s Pierce Brosnan… playing Dumbledore”. If it wasn’t all so blatant, perhaps it might’ve worked, but instead it just looks like a cheap knock-off.

Who’s looking forward to the next film in the series then? I hear Uranus has lost his ring.

3/10.

The phrase “two hours of my life I’ll never get back” has never been more appropriate, but to add insult to injury, the evening ended up costing me a bit more than usual…

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"What do you mean I should be back on Easter Island?"

Mel Gibson hasn’t been in a film for years. Apparently, back in 2002, he said “I think I’ll probably focus more on directing stuff and producing stuff and maybe just come out with something that’s really extraordinary and get in front of the camera.”

8 years later, Edge of Darkness is what lured him out of acting retirement. This should be something “really extraordinary” then.

Well. It should be.

…but it’s actually rather tedious. The trailer made Edge of Darkness look like a lively action/revenge/thriller. In reality, it’s a dreary conspiracy effort that starts off bleak, slowly nudges itself into melancholy and then slowly builds to a finale of downright depressing.

I dunno, perhaps it’s just me that doesn’t find dodgy dealings at a nuclear research company that enthraling. Or perhaps this type of film just ain’t my bag. Whatever, the plodding and somewhat predictable Edge of Darkness just didn’t do it for me.

5/10.

Anyway, stay tuned for the next thrilling installment of Blogalism folks, when our intrepid film reviewer manages to get robbed on the way home from seeing Percy Jackson…

Birmingham.

Picture the scene. Somewhere in Hollywood. 2008-ish.

There’s a joint script meeting going on with Alcon Entertainment and Silver Pictures.
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